You Win Some.......You Lose Some.....

First and foremost, congratulations to the Dallas Mavericks for winning the NBA Finals.  As a very loyal Miami Heat fan, I am sad we lost, but the most deserving team won.  So now that that is over......

I have lost 37 pounds!!!  It feels really good to finally be successful at this.  I still have a long way to go, but I am finally on the right track and it feels outstanding!

Question for you guys......why does it always seem like what you want and can't have is always around smacking you in the face, almost taunting you?  When I was married and going through fertility treatments, I was surrounded by people getting pregnant with no problems.  I'm not joking.  As soon as I started fertility treatments, 5 people in the office where I worked got pregnant.  It is really hard to smile and be happy for people when your heart is filled with envy and always asking the question, "Why them and not me?"

Fast forward a few years........I came to terms with not having a family of my own.  I deal with it pretty well for the most part.  I watch other people's children grow and watch them enjoy what I so desperately wanted.  I also watch people not be thankful and take their families for granted and be too busy to spend time.  I do all of this keeping my mouth shut and smiling.  So, I was engaged and honestly felt my dream of remarriage would come true.  Well, needless to say I am single again, but of course, now it is wedding talk.  Blah, blah, blah.  I sit and pretend to be excited and smile and tell her she will be a beautiful bride, which she will be...........but COME ON!  Really?  Again?  No kids wasn't enough?  I have to sit and smile about this as well?  Why does this always seem to happen?  I know it happens to others as well, but man, so frustrating.

Now that I am in the middle of this, I can tell you, there are days that I lose focus from my weight loss.  I try not to be jealous or envious, but it is hard.  One of my friends once told me that she didn't know why God gives so much to some and not to others and that they say the less you have here on earth, the more you have in heaven.  I don't know if thats true, and I will find out one day for sure, but for now, I would settle on this envy leaving my heart.

Hopefully, my next blog I will crack losing 40 pounds........I can't wait until that moment so I can share it with you.  Until next time.......